If food is your Everest and your body is your greatest scapegoat, you will explain rejection by thinking you’re too fat. In fact, you’re probably making a lot of totally unrelated events in your life mean that you’re fat without any evidential basis for that conclusion (i.e. my boyfriend dumped me = I’m too fat; sound familiar?)
Now what’s the fastest way to end up bingeing on ice cream and Netflix alone in your bedroom? All together now… FEELING BADLY ABOUT YOUR BODY. SO STOP IT NOW!
Relationship Expert, Amy E. Smith has suggestions to help us, so we can stop making every rejection into a reason we need to lose 10lbs and finally get back into living our lives without all the food and weight noise cramping our style.
1. “Commit to Letting Go of the WHY.” Up there on the list of Amy’s suggestions for getting over the rejection blues is to stop trying to figure out why you were rejected and just accept the rejection for what it is, a loss.
2. When that’s difficult to do (because it’s really hard to accept things that SUCK without trying to make sense of them), she suggests softening the dialogue in your head and opening yourself up to a more loving perception of reality. Ex: “He dumped me because I’m fat,” becomes “it didn’t work out, because he’s not the right guy for me.” Or ANY other more compassionate reason that you can manage to believe. Amy rocked out this awesome Vlog, “Rejection is God’s Protection,” which discusses a whole buncha great strategies for this.
3. “Give Yourself Permission to Feel Shitty” (Tweet it!) Sometimes our faulty explanations are just arbitrary distractions from feeling real pain. Getting rejected is NOT fun — it generally means we lost something we really really want for ourselves. Unfortunately, displacing real pain (by blaming it on our love handles and starting a new diet) doesn’t make it go away. 9 times out of 10, displacing real feelings involves picking up a compulsive behavior, soooo if I were you, I would cry that shit out instead.
If all else fails, remember that believing you’re too fat for X, Y, or Z reason is not rational. It does NOT generally motivate people to lose weight for any substantial period, and usually encourages pity-bingeing. Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.
Amy E. Smith (a.k.a The Joy Junkie) is a certified and credentialed personal and couples life coach, masterful speaker, and relationship and personal empowerment expert. Owner and founder of Joy Junkie Enterprises, Amy uses her roles as coach, writer, and speaker to move individuals beyond limiting beliefs and sabotaging mindsets to a place of radical personal empowerment and self love.